Find It

There is so much anger, hate and negativity in our world today. Civility has been thrown out the window when people disagree with one another. People look for the worst in others and try to make them look as bad as possible. Have you noticed the political advertisements on television lately? They’re simply awful! The main strategy used to get elected is to make one’s opponent look as bad as possible.

In order to help improve our relationships with others, and to help create a better world for all of us to live in, I would like to introduce a method I have come up with that I call it “find it.”

IN ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS…

Find something to like about them rather than dislike. Find ways to encourage instead of ways to discourage. Find things in them to be positive about instead of negative. Find ways to be optimistic rather than pessimistic. Find things you have in common with them instead of things uncommon. Find things to approve about them rather than disapprove. Find something to compliment them about instead of something to criticize them about. Find ways to build people up instead of looking for ways to tear them down. Find ways to help and not hurt.

Find ways to let go of past grievances and move forward, instead of always looking back, holding a grudge, or looking for ways to retaliate or get even. Find it in your heart to forgive instead of fight. Find ways to believe in people instead of giving up on them. Find ways to lose instead of trying to win all the time. Find ways to be open-minded instead of closed-minded—seek to understand more than to be understood. Find ways to be for people instead of against them. Find ways to help people discover what they can be in the future, instead of what they are currently, or what they were in the past. 

Find ways to help people to pull the heavy burdens of life instead of pushing them all the time to do better. Find ways to release people from their past instead of holding them down with it. Find ways to help people to live in grace instead of guilt. Find ways to support instead of resist. Find it in your heart to surrender instead of feeling like you always have to conquer. Find ways to validate people instead of telling them how they should act or feel. Find ways to yield instead of always being the one to merge. Find ways to cooperate instead of dictate—ways to assist and facilitate instead of always being in charge. Find ways to confront people with love when they misbehave, offend, or do you wrong, instead of confronting them with anger, resentment or vengeance. Find ways to trust or give people the benefit of the doubt, instead of judging them.

Find ways to love and not hate. Find ways to be joyful instead of moody. Find ways to live in peace with people instead of conflict. Find ways to be patient instead of impatient. Find the good in people instead of always focusing on the bad. Find ways to be kind and gentle instead of being hard or harsh in your dealings with difficult or even mean people. Find ways to show people you have faith in them instead of doubting them all the time. Find ways to be calm and self-controlled instead of letting your emotions get the best of you. Find ways to give people the benefit of the doubt instead of constantly judging their motives.

Find ways to be quiet when everyone else is loud—to listen instead of feeling like you have to be the one talking all the time—to let others have the last word every now and then. Find ways to be tolerant instead of intolerant when the issue involves a personality conflict. Find ways to be fair when others are being unfair. Find ways to smile and not frown, laugh and not lament. Find time to tell people you love them before it’s too late. Find time to actually be with them instead of just talking about getting together soon. Find something to do for them instead of just saying something to them.

Many of these may have been a little repetitive, but I think you get my point. Jesus encapsulated everything I have said here and so much more in one sentence: Matthew 7:12: “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them...” In other words, just exercise The Golden Rule.

One thing I have learned in my life is that you find whatever it is you’re looking for. If you only look for the bad in people, then most likely that’s all you’ll ever see, and you’ll miss seeing the good in a person. If you’ll just look for the good in others you can find it, or at least draw it out. Try the “find it” method for 60 days and if it doesn’t work I’ll refund your money. Try the “find it” method and see if it doesn’t revolutionize all your life and create more harmony in all your relationships. If you’ll try to “find it” in me and I try to “find it” in you, then we can all work together to create a better world for all of us to live in.